In America, we always read about these "happiest countries", but never really understand why they deserve this label. This is an incredible insight into the fabric of Finland, one I was completely unaware of. Honesty can be so hard to stomach, but beating around the bush and putting things off is just as harsh. Your anecdotes tell an incredible story of a culture and why this leads to happiness. I really enjoyed your piece!
I have never been to Finland but from your essay I know that it's a place i'd love to visit <3 Very well articulated. All my love to your mother-in-law!
I have been living in Sweden for a long time. I am very close to the Finnish culture. There is no way that Swedes or Finns are happier (in general or on average) than some people in cultures like Latino culture (e.g. people in most places in Colombia). That's just my own opinion. I have never really assimilated into the culture, and this opinion may reflect my own internal bias (e.g. the weather may affect my perspective, and there are other reasons such as discrimination that may have affected my views over time). I like and love many things about Swedes and Finns (and Sweden and Finland), but I do not think they are the happiest people in the world. I think there is a lot of exceptionalism, and we (I mean "we" as a resident in my case, not as a Swede) like to think that we do things better here than elsewhere, and maybe, just maybe, this artificially inflates some indexes like the happiness index, as well as "government satisfaction" and similar indexes; at least that's my theory. On the other hand, things are so good here compared to other places (in many ways) that it is easy for those of us who are not assimilated or born here to find small imperfections.
Not saying "I love you" is very relatable as someone from Japan. Younger people in Japan say words of affection a lot more than older ones, but it's still fairly uncommon. My parents definitely haven't told me anything like "I love you". But yes, they do show up for me and that's what matters to us.
Separate from that (I think), I have a strong aversion to saying things that I don't believe. My initial reaction to your mother-in-law story was "oof", in sympathy to you, but I realized I also intensely identified with what she did.
If Americans banished small talk, and all conversational devices where we didn’t actually mean what we were saying— it would be a VERY different country. I try not to do any of that, and it sometimes feels that people are weirded out and resentful as a result.
I wk for nato for few years. My fave were the scandi folks. By country mile. Super educated. Starkly honest. Blunt to point of sledgehammer. Which is refreshing. Visited finland with wife. Feels last outpost europe. Russia brooding over the road looms large. Everything in scandinavia is very expensive to me but it works.
Wonderful and thoughtful piece (as typical of your stories). Gives us all a real insight into your Finnish community.
I'm thinking that the term "happy" or "happiness" is oversimplified by the media and certainly by the press - here in the states, it seems to have been simplified to the point of meaning "everything's rainbows and unicorns", and it implies that we should all have both of those in abundance. But a deeper meaning should include all the factors of living a life fulfilled - if you have nothing but unicorns and rainbows, what do you do when life, your lands, your climate, and other peoples through obstacles in your path? The Finnish people, from your account, seem to have figured this out. We have a long way to go here.
Thanks Will , totally sums up the Finns that I know , why waste time , thought and emotion on what you can’t affect instead of dealing with what you can . A pretty good way of living in my opinion
What a wonderful wonderful thoughtful post. Beautiful. And insightful for us non-Finns searching how to be even just a little bit happier. And congratulations on the new job!!
In America, we always read about these "happiest countries", but never really understand why they deserve this label. This is an incredible insight into the fabric of Finland, one I was completely unaware of. Honesty can be so hard to stomach, but beating around the bush and putting things off is just as harsh. Your anecdotes tell an incredible story of a culture and why this leads to happiness. I really enjoyed your piece!
Brutal honestly is such a unique cultural trait.
Whoa, that quote was nice: "Happiness doesn’t come from searching, only by living." -Finnish saying
Makes me think to: "You can only have bliss if you don’t chase it." -Henepola Gunaratana
I have never been to Finland but from your essay I know that it's a place i'd love to visit <3 Very well articulated. All my love to your mother-in-law!
I have been living in Sweden for a long time. I am very close to the Finnish culture. There is no way that Swedes or Finns are happier (in general or on average) than some people in cultures like Latino culture (e.g. people in most places in Colombia). That's just my own opinion. I have never really assimilated into the culture, and this opinion may reflect my own internal bias (e.g. the weather may affect my perspective, and there are other reasons such as discrimination that may have affected my views over time). I like and love many things about Swedes and Finns (and Sweden and Finland), but I do not think they are the happiest people in the world. I think there is a lot of exceptionalism, and we (I mean "we" as a resident in my case, not as a Swede) like to think that we do things better here than elsewhere, and maybe, just maybe, this artificially inflates some indexes like the happiness index, as well as "government satisfaction" and similar indexes; at least that's my theory. On the other hand, things are so good here compared to other places (in many ways) that it is easy for those of us who are not assimilated or born here to find small imperfections.
Not saying "I love you" is very relatable as someone from Japan. Younger people in Japan say words of affection a lot more than older ones, but it's still fairly uncommon. My parents definitely haven't told me anything like "I love you". But yes, they do show up for me and that's what matters to us.
Separate from that (I think), I have a strong aversion to saying things that I don't believe. My initial reaction to your mother-in-law story was "oof", in sympathy to you, but I realized I also intensely identified with what she did.
How you described Finnish culture reminds me of Stoicism. https://figsinwinter.substack.com/p/practice-like-a-stoic-1-discover
Love you wil … lol 😂
If Americans banished small talk, and all conversational devices where we didn’t actually mean what we were saying— it would be a VERY different country. I try not to do any of that, and it sometimes feels that people are weirded out and resentful as a result.
Lovely piece - thanks for sharing, Wil!
I wk for nato for few years. My fave were the scandi folks. By country mile. Super educated. Starkly honest. Blunt to point of sledgehammer. Which is refreshing. Visited finland with wife. Feels last outpost europe. Russia brooding over the road looms large. Everything in scandinavia is very expensive to me but it works.
I enjoyed this very much, including the links to past stories that I had missed.
I'm looking forward to reading about your new adventures, in the kitchen and out.
Wonderful and thoughtful piece (as typical of your stories). Gives us all a real insight into your Finnish community.
I'm thinking that the term "happy" or "happiness" is oversimplified by the media and certainly by the press - here in the states, it seems to have been simplified to the point of meaning "everything's rainbows and unicorns", and it implies that we should all have both of those in abundance. But a deeper meaning should include all the factors of living a life fulfilled - if you have nothing but unicorns and rainbows, what do you do when life, your lands, your climate, and other peoples through obstacles in your path? The Finnish people, from your account, seem to have figured this out. We have a long way to go here.
So good!
Thanks Will , totally sums up the Finns that I know , why waste time , thought and emotion on what you can’t affect instead of dealing with what you can . A pretty good way of living in my opinion
What an inspiring and interesting piece that really does explain the happiness of the Finns! Thank you!
What a wonderful wonderful thoughtful post. Beautiful. And insightful for us non-Finns searching how to be even just a little bit happier. And congratulations on the new job!!